Here's what I knew coming into this "experience":
- It had Rob Liefeld's stink all over it
- "Youngblood" was some sort of US Government superhero team
- It never came out on time
- Brett Ratner is somehow attached to Youngblood to try to make a movie out of it. I believe he called it, "One of the few comicbooks left with tentpole potential." Except that it came from Brett Ratner, this is high praise indeed.
This is a review of Youngblood, Volume 1, Issues #0-10
Overall Review: Jesus. Christ. I don't know how I got through it. This pretty much was my biggest fear realized: a vanity project from a guy with infinite vanity. The story is disjointed, it crosses over with a million books, almost to the point where the main title is unreadable, and it scoops up heaps of new characters like dung and throws them against the wall hoping that some of them might stick. Volume 1 doesn't end. It STOPS.
The Story: Youngblood is a US government superhero team: separated into functional independent bodies like "Home", "Away", "Strikeforce" - but all "Sub-Par". I have to say, after reading Volume 1, the only thing I left with was a confirmation of all my original assessments.
Let's get to this, shall we?
 |
| First Impressions |
Only 4 of the characters start the comic, fighting in the Gulf War: Riptide (aka Storm), Chapel (aka Punisher), DieHard (aka Iron Man), and Battlestone (aka Cable). The only first impression I was really wrong about was Diehard. Except for his obviously techno/organically-enhanced codpiece, he's ALL MAN, baby - some sort of cloned Superman-type. Well, the fight goes f.u.b.a.r. - and Battlestone is court-martialed and expelled from the group. I thought this bit of contrivance would be used to make Battlestone some sort of evil genius bent on destroying Youngblood. But I was wrong - he never shows his face in the comic again.
The last page introduces an almost completely different team from the original. Thanks, Issue #0
Biggest Complaint: On the first page, they refer to people from Iraq as "Iraquis". Does this mean they are some sort of Arab/Native-American hybrid? I'm sure both ethnicities would be thrilled at the combination.
 |
| Don't get used to them. They won't be here long. |
Oh awesome, completely new characters! Thanks Liefeld! It isn't until over half-way through the comic that I realized there were MULTIPLE Youngblood teams - Home and Away. This is a weird choice, then, to start with the Away Team, since the pin-up at the end of #0 was the Home Team. They're introduced either through a caption under them, or they awkwardly use their name in their first sentence. Anyway, since the comic is split in TWO, more or less, and each team fights their own group of villains... I had a lot of trouble keeping up with who was who. And it's not like they have different personalities, they're either "timid", "eXtreme", or "reluctant."
(b) "'Tis the season for giving, not stealing!" - Shaft
***Youngblood, Vol. 1, Issue #2***
Well, hello there, THIRD YOUNGBLOOD TEAM. This issue has the new group travel to an (An-)Arctic base to uncover a super-solider created in 1937, then placed in suspended animation. However there's some sort of inter-dimensional angle as well. If you're thinking that he sounds an awful lot like Captain America mixed with Shatterstar... well, you're EXACTLY right.
 |
| Ladies and Gentlemen, meet John Prophet |
Oh, and there's a new team of villains, too. Not AT ALL confusing, Rob.
Favorite Line: "From unconsciousness you came, and, if necessary, to unconsciousness you shall return!" - Combat. Yes, his name is COMBAT.
***Youngblood, Vol. 1, Issue #3***
Another type-o stands out like a sore thumb: "Lisence". Anyway, the issue goes back to the Home Team, as leader Shaft expresses his disdain for the merchandising of Youngblood - specifically how team member "Bedrock" (more on him later) has four separate action figures. This is particularly curious, because everything about this comic concept screams "I want to make as much money through merchandising as I possibly can!"
The Home Team fights ANOTHER new villain team, and yet ANOTHER team is "previewed" on the last page. Confused yet? Look, I've read all the comics and I'm STILL just as confused.
Favorite line: "He loses his sword. I give it back. (STAB)" - Shaft
I love this cover. "In Final Battle!" I believe it's in Engrish. It also finally dawned on me that Chapel (aka Punisher) is the guy that killed Al Simmons in Spawn. Anyway, due to the dimensional fighting shenanigans of the 3rd Youngblood team last issue, the Home Team travels to Berlin to help them. Well, so much for the concept of a "HOME" Team. There's no sign of the 2nd or 3rd teams, other than a passing reference to the 3rd team being defeated off-panel.
Now, let's talk about "Bedrock", who I identified as "The Thing" on the cover of Issue #0. I actually had heard a story about him - that his name didn't stay "Bedrock" for very long (it was changed in Issue #6 to "Badrock"). The story goes that Liefeld folded under threat of litigation from Hanna-Barbera for infringing on their "Flintstones" rights. I thought that was kind of stretching it, from H-B's perspective. Sure, Bedrock was the name of Fred and Barney's hometown, but SO WHAT?
Then I saw Bedrock use his Liefeld-driven catchphrase (get it? Like Ben Grimm's "It's clobberin' time?"): "YABBA DABBA DOOM!" I swear I didn't make that up.
 |
| Proof that the Captain America "boobs" image was NOT a mistake |
***Youngblood, Vol. 1, Issue #5***
Never mind. The story continues. False alarm. Whew.
Liefeld is missing from this issue. Some guy called "Chap Yaep" draws it. Fortunately, Rob was still able to phone in the "plot". Thanks, buddy. On one page, the narration references a "legion of winged demons", and shows ONE attacking a character. Turn the page, and one-silhouette later, the narration explains that they've all been defeated. Now THAT's efficiency.
This issue only has 14 pages of story. And remember Die-Hard? He's in the "boob" photo above. He's missing for the entire issue, but fortunately reappears leaning against a wall on page 12. Thank God he's okay.
***Youngblood, Vol. 1, Issue #6***
Oh look, the Home Team as all-new costumes! Oh look, a NEW Home Team, "Youngblood of Tomorrow" is introduced! More characters = more better! Good thing Liefeld's back on the art team. I was worried.
 |
| There's nothing quite as sad as when you're a super-hero, you get a new costume, and then you get replaced by characters even more "eXtreme". |
And not for nothing, but of all the characters Liefeld's created in his over 20 years in the business, only, like, FIVE haven't carried one or more swords. Now he creates a guy called "Knight Sabre" - who wields a bo staff. Very strange choice.
 |
| Pay no attention to the disappearing/ reappearing crouissant-piece on Lt. Col. Bravo's head. Move along... |
Next we have "DieHard" - No, not THAT DieHard. A new one. He's a clone, remember? But what happened to the other DieHard, you ask? Don't worry, he's still on one of the other Youngblood teams. Two guys, same name, nearly the same look? Not-at-all confusing.
Finally, we have "Bartholomew J. Troll" - I have nothing further to say about him. Well, other than it was pointed out to me that his initials are "BJ Troll". That's pretty awesome.
The story itself starts out with an introduction to ANOTHER new character, "Lieutenant Colonel Bravo" - who is ABSOLUTELY NOT Cable on an Akira-Motorcycle. He shows up for a couple pages, and then also disappears completely.
After the non-sequitur change from Bravo to Youngblood of Tomorrow, they fight yet another batch of new villains. I'm reminded that I only have four issues left to read.
 |
| That lucky, lucky lady. |
The final pages of the comic belong to Liefeld drawing a marriage proposal to his girlfriend. You know, it would be easy to try to mock it. But hey, I've seen Jumbo-Tron proposals at ball games, so as "tacky" goes... there's much worse out there. My only complaint, I suppose, is that we had to pay $3.50 to witness this part of his relationship. And it's 3-or-4 pages long. Okay, I take it all back. That's tacky as hell.
I apologize if my re-capping skills are losing steam. It only echoes my issue notes, which echoed my ever-worsening depression while reading.
Badrock goes skiing and fights Overtkill from Spawn. The fight supposedly concludes in "Team Youngblood #11" (it's odd that the spin-off book is further along than the "main" book. Anyone want to lay odds on Liefeld's involvement - and therefore on-timeness - with the spin-off?) Shaft has a dream he eats until he's obese. Troll takes a shower. Chapel (hey kids! Remember him?) gets even more pouches, and crap hanging off of his back. Chapel's story continues in a Spawn comic.
Favorite line: "A little known piece of super-hero trivia: they can't sing." - Narrator
***Youngblood, Vol. 1, Issue #8***
Lt. Col. Bravo returns! ANOTHER set of villains! Liefeld draws Spawn with cross-stitching. The Home Team roster changes! Oh, and that guy WarWolf in the pic over there? Absolutely, positively NOT Sabertooth from Marvel. Nope. In fact, I resent the suggestion that he's inspired by another character. Totally original. How dare you.
Favorite part: The casual reference that some character died in "Team Youngblood #10" without telling us who it was.
 |
| You know, now that I look at it, BJ Troll has a pretty sweet rack as well. Also, that is NOT Shatterstar at center. |
***Youngblood, Vol. 1, Issue #9***
Once again, Liefeld takes some well-deserved time off and hands over the writing/art duties to someone else - this time, Jim Valentino. The action from #8 comes to a complete halt, and we're served a stand-alone issue about how Badrock becomes a Hollywood starlet only to find out that his newly-optioned TV show is (wah wah waaaaah!) a Three Stooges-esque cartoon, complete with pies-in-faces.
***Youngblood, Vol. 1, Issue #10***
Liefeld returns to end the landmark first volume of his "tentpole franchise". The storyline with Spawn kinda-sorta concludes (not without referencing "Youngblood Strikefile #1-4" and "Bloodstrike #7-10"). Chapel literally AND figuratively shoots himself in the head.
At the end of the issue, the story is STILL unresolved, and the reader is teased that the action will continue in "eXtreme Sacrifice", some mega-crossover title coming soon.
---------
So, that's the end of Yougblood, Volume 1. I really couldn't make sense of it. But they're are 3 more volumes, two spin-offs, and a bunch of specials/crossovers. So there's still hope.
I exit this blog post with an ad that only appeared in Issue #1. I wonder if there's still time to join?
I had a few of these myself. man, that time period was filled with popcorn fluff like this, all shiny , fancy art, but absolutely no substance or story as you clearly saw. I hear Joe Casey's run is an improvement in the story part of this equation. The art? About the same.
ReplyDeleteThere was a comic called Brigade!!! Also, in one of the Youngbloods you claimed to have read, there was a Brigade on the flip side of the comic, can't remember which issue exactly, but it's there. And if you do a simple google search you will find that there was a Brigade series, so much for all your 'research'. I'm not getting pissed because I like these comics, I'm getting pissed because you clearly didn't do your research.
ReplyDeleteDale Bagwell,
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing "fancy" about Liefeld's art. He just cannot draw! There is not one thing he draws well. He cannot do perspective properly. he cannot figure out anatomy to save his life. He rips off actual artists like George Perez (he stole an entire couple of pages from Perez' Teen Titans work) and his characters are ALL copy/pasted rip-offs of Marvel and DC characters.